Sunday, 17 April 2016

You'll want to see the ring!

Mum phoned me at 11 this morning. She said, 'Wonderful news, Alison! The vicar has agreed to marry you.'
'That's kind of him, Mum, but I don't think we've met and anyway, I'm an engaged woman.'
Mum sighed deeply. 'I've told you before, Alison, about being facetious. It's not becoming. You know quite well what I mean.'
'Yes, Mum, I'm sorry,' I smiled into the phone. Not even my mother could upset me today. 'But we haven't discu...'
Before I could finish my mother interrupted, 'He doesn't really approve of marrying divorcees but I explained that it wasn't entirely your fault and he said that, as I was such a faithful member of the Ladies' Guild, he was sure he could make an exception.'
'First of all, Mother, it wasn't my fault at all that Brian left me for a bimbo,' I could hear my mother sniff on the other end of the phone, 'and, secondly, as I was trying to say before you interrupted me, David and I haven't discussed what sort of wedding we want yet.'
'What do you mean what sort of wedding? You're not going to go all hippy on us, are you? Your father's too old to go off to some beach at sunset. And the mosquitoes always bite him.'
'No, but it'll probably be a quiet affair in a registry office with just close family and friends.'
'You're not pregnant, are you?'
'I'm fifty-five, Mother!'
'Well, these days they can do anything with a test tube and a turkey baster. So I'll tell the vicar you'll pop in to see him, shall I?'


I will not let her upset me! Instead I'll show you my ring! 

David found it in an antique shop. He said he saw it and instantly thought of me! How romantic is that! It's a purple sapphire between two little diamonds. So dainty and elegant! Why it reminded David of me I can't imagine.

Saturday, 16 April 2016

Some very exciting news!

Well, dear readers, I have some exciting news!

Oh dear, first I suppose I should apologise for the huge time lapse since my last post but life has been most awfully busy.  So, anyway, yesterday was my 55th birthday and, guess what? David asked me to marry him!

He'd taken me to La Brasseria for my birthday meal: it's become a sort of tradition to go there and, apart from last year, when I tripped and bumped into a waiter who then poured the contents of a bottle of red wine over customer, it's been uneventful. Until last night. 

We'd had our main courses and I was just wondering whether I should have ordered panna cotta like the woman at the next table instead of the tiramisu when David reached across the table and took my hand. It startled me making me knock over my glass of wine but it was white so didn't show much. Unlike David's red wine that spilled when I bumped the table as I tried to catch my falling glass. 

David burst out laughing. He shoo-ed away the waiter who'd appeared with a cloth to mop up the mess. 'It's okay, just leave it.'

'Oh dear,' I said. 'I thought I'd broken the jinx on this place.'
David shook his head. He was still laughing. 'What am I going to do with you, Aliss?'
I bit my lip. 'I don't know.'
He shook his head again. 'I think there's only one thing I can do.' He reached into his inside jacket pocket and brought out a small box. Opening it he said, 'Alison, will you do me the great honour of marrying me?'
'Oh lumme!'
'Is that a yes?'
'Oh, yes, yes, yes, a million times yes!' I stood up and leaned across the candle-lit table to kiss him. Our lips had barely met when I was soaked to the skin as a jug of water was thrown over me.
'Whaaattt?!!!' 
'Sorry, madam,' said the waiter as he mopped me with his already wine-stained cloth. 'You were on fire!'
'Oh dear,' I sat down again amidst the ruins of our table. 'Are you sure you want to marry me?'
David took my hand again. 'I'm absolutely positive. Anyway you're not safe out on your own. I'll be doing community care a favour.'

It was late when we finally got home so I waited until this morning to phone everyone to tell them the good news. I began with Chloe.
'Hello darling, Mum here.'
'Urgh, what time is it?'
'About, oh, half past seven.'
'Oh Mum! I've only just got to sleep. You know I've been on night shifts.'
'I'm sorry, darling, but I do have some exciting news.'
'What? Has David finally proposed?'
'Oh. Yes.'
'Great, Mum,' she yawned loudly. 'I'll call you back later, okay.'
'Er, yes, darling. Love you.'
'Love you too. Bye.'

Thought she might have been a little bit more excited. But she's never been good in the mornings. With that in mind I decided not to phone Adam until later. After all he's still student, albeit a post-graduate one. So I moved onto Mum. Unlike my children she would be up early.
'Morning, Mum,' I said cheerfully.
'Good heavens, is that you, Alison?'
'I would think so unless you've suddenly discovered a long-lost daughter?'
'Don't be facetious, Alison. It's not becoming.'
I bit my tongue and tried again. 'I'm calling early because I have some news.'
'Oh no! What's happened? Is it Chloe? Has she been attacked by one of those wife beaters?'
'No, Mum, it's not Chloe.'
'Adam then? He's been arrested hasn't he?'
'Why would he be arrested, Mum?'
'Well, I don't know, drugs, dogging.'
I spluttered into the phone. 'Dogging?'
'Isn't that what they call it when you're caught smoking mariejuanna?'
'No, Mum. And, anyway, Adam doesn't use drugs. And why do you assume it's bad news?'
'Why else would you be calling this time in the morning?'
'I'm calling to tell you that David and I are getting married.'
'Oh. Wouldn't have thought you'd bother at your age. Seems a bit of a fuss for nothing.'
'Mother, when David first began spending the night here you were apoplectic in case the ladies at the golf club found out. I thought you'd be pleased we were making it legal.'
'Yes, well, times change. One has to keep up with the times.'
I shook my head. 'Is Dad there? I'd like to tell him myself.'
'No, he's popped out to the newsagent.'
'At half past seven in the morning.'
'Well, if he doesn't get there early they sell out of the Telegraph. I'll tell him to phone you when he gets back.'
'Okay, and you won't tell him first?'
'No, no, you can do that.'

Half an hour later Dad phoned. 'Wonderful news, sweetheart! I'm so pleased for you.'
'Mum told you then?'
'Yes, soon as I walked through the door. We're both delighted for you and David.'
'Thanks, Dad.'
'Hang on, your mother's saying something ... yes, yes, she says we must all go out for a meal to celebrate. She'll phone you later to arrange it.'

Couldn't wait any longer to phone Adam so called and let it ring until he finally picked up.
'Urgh?'
Hello, darling, it's Mum.'
'Urggh.'
Adam, I'm phoning because I have some news for you.' I waited for a response. When none came I carried on. 'Last night David asked me to marry him!'
'Urgh.'
'Did you hear what I said, Adam? David asked me to marry him!'
'Yeargh, what did you say?'
'I said yes of course!'
'Cool. Bye, Mum.'

Bev was next to know. 'Yay! And I'm just the woman to organise the Hen party!'
And Pippa was genuinely delighted. 'I am so pleased for you, Alison. You deserve this. Love you loads.'

Do I deserve it? Don't think I'll think too much about that. Might come to the wrong answer. Instead I'll just allow myself to wallow in being a newly engaged woman.