Mum phoned me at 11 this morning. She said, 'Wonderful news, Alison! The vicar has agreed to marry you.'
'That's kind of him, Mum, but I don't think we've met and anyway, I'm an engaged woman.'
Mum sighed deeply. 'I've told you before, Alison, about being facetious. It's not becoming. You know quite well what I mean.'
'Yes, Mum, I'm sorry,' I smiled into the phone. Not even my mother could upset me today. 'But we haven't discu...'
Before I could finish my mother interrupted, 'He doesn't really approve of marrying divorcees but I explained that it wasn't entirely your fault and he said that, as I was such a faithful member of the Ladies' Guild, he was sure he could make an exception.'
'First of all, Mother, it wasn't my fault at all that Brian left me for a bimbo,' I could hear my mother sniff on the other end of the phone, 'and, secondly, as I was trying to say before you interrupted me, David and I haven't discussed what sort of wedding we want yet.'
'What do you mean what sort of wedding? You're not going to go all hippy on us, are you? Your father's too old to go off to some beach at sunset. And the mosquitoes always bite him.'
'No, but it'll probably be a quiet affair in a registry office with just close family and friends.'
'You're not pregnant, are you?'
'I'm fifty-five, Mother!'
'Well, these days they can do anything with a test tube and a turkey baster. So I'll tell the vicar you'll pop in to see him, shall I?'
I will not let her upset me! Instead I'll show you my ring!
David found it in an antique shop. He said he saw it and instantly thought of me! How romantic is that! It's a purple sapphire between two little diamonds. So dainty and elegant! Why it reminded David of me I can't imagine.