The podcast

Sunday 31 May 2020

Must get a grip

I really must get a grip.
'Well, I'm right here!'
I jumped. I hadn't realised David had come in the room.
'What?' I said.
'I'm here. You can grip me any time you want.'
I frowned at him. 'Did I say that about getting a grip out loud?'
David nodded.
Do I say all my thoughts out loud? Is this why I get funny looks in the supermarket and people avoid me?
'And at home.'
I scowled at him but he carried on, 'Like I said, I'm right here if you want to get a good grip.' He advanced on me with what I think was meant to be a sultry smile. I pushed him away. 'I didn't mean that. I meant I need to get a grip on my writing life.'
'Oh,' David looked disappointed.
'I'm a successful author now - don't raise your eyebrows at me like that: I am! And I can't keep my fans writing for the sequel.'
'Any longer than they've already had to wait you mean?'
'Look, if you're just going to be unhelpful I'm not going to tell you my brilliant idea.'
David's face dropped and he started to back away quickly.
'Where are you going? Don't you want to hear my brilliant idea?'
'Your brilliant ideas usually involve me in painting a room or chopping down a tree.'
'I've never asked you to ... well, only one tree and it was a dud. it didn't give us any plums. And I warned it, told it was on last chance.'
'I'm not taking any chances.'
'No, I promise this doesn't involve you at all.'
He looked doubtful but I smiled and nodded my head encouragingly.
'Okay, go on,' he said, 'but the first time you say "and you can ..." I'm off.'
'Fine. So ...' I wanted to build up the tension I felt my original announcement had lost. 'I'm doing MyNoWriMo again.'
David studied me for a moment then said, 'Well, I recognised most of the words even if they didn't make sense.'
'Don't be silly, you remember I did it in February. You know there's a national novel writing month but it's called NaNoWriMo not because it's done in November as I first thought but it is, and that's far too busy a time, so if you remember I put it off until February.'
David was looking a little bemused so I tried again.
'I have to write every day for a month. You must remember! I did really well in February and now we're in lockdown so I should do even better.'

Although the strange thing about lockdown is that time seems to be warped. Some days it disappears; other days it's hours and hours until dinner time.

So watch this space for news of my successes!


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